KLeaving relationships on bad terms is not favorable amongst most people. It often leaves us wondering how things could have been, missing that person, or simply just needing closure. This is especially so in relationships with people we love. Instead of running away or ending a relationship, we will discuss a few of our tips on How to Fix a Relationship with someone you love.
keeping up with all our many relationships in life can be tough. Many of us juggle the relationships we have with our parents, siblings, children, co-workers, friends, significant others, and pets. There are times when it can all just become too much for us. We may even lose a bit of self-control in the way we carry ourselves in these relationships.
Either now, or during some other point in your life, there is likely a relationship that has or almost has reached the point of no return. While you cannot control what other people think, say, or do, you most certainly can control your own thoughts, words, and actions. This is where you will find the power to create loving and lasting relationships.
9. Ask, Don’t Tell
Communication plays a huge role in any successful relationship. It is always evident when a relationship lacks communication between two parties. Usually, there tend to be a lot of misunderstandings and arguments.
Our first lesson on how to fix a relationship is to always pose questions, instead of giving orders or telling a person what to do. It is important to do this because it helps balance power in a relationship. Instead of telling your significant other, child, or roommate to do the dishes, ask them. Try asking for help, instead of telling your friend, parent, or coworker to help you do something.
By asking instead of telling, you are communicating the respect you have for that person’s time and energy. People are more likely to respond in a positive way if they are asked something, rather than told. This lesson may be harder for those who tend to be the “controller” or the dominant person in the relationship.
8. Stop Complaining
As Henry Ford said “Don’t find a fault, find a remedy. Anyone can complain.” Yes, there are probably things in any relationship that could be better. Everyone has faults, and they are often easy to see. When you complain about someone, you are focusing on someone’s mistakes and shortcomings.
If you truly want to learn how to fix a relationship with someone, you must stop drawing attention to negative things. If you already recognize that you are someone who tends to complain, start making an effort to notice and call attention to the good things about your person. One way to do this is by taking five minutes out of your day to write down three things you love about yourself in a gratitude journal.
7. Don’t be Insatiable
Some of us are all too familiar with someone who, no matter what we do, nothing is ever good enough for them. If you have never experienced a relationship like this, take a look in the mirror and consider that it might be you. Being someone who is hard to please means you are never satisfied with what other people do for you, big or little, tall or small.
If you are insatiable it means you call out what other people didn’t do, what they could have done, or things that you wish were different. Before judging how someone did something, take a step back. Find one good thing to focus on in the situation. Learning how to fix a relationship is so much easier when you start learning to seek out the good things in your relationship.
6. Remember to Say Thanks
Sometimes in relationships, and especially a long-lived relationships, we can forget to say thank you to those we love. When we’ve known someone for so long, we often feel comfortable with that person as it seems like they will be around forever. The trouble is, little by little we can sometimes start taking things for granted and form expectations.
While saying thank you in a relationship may not seem like much, it can work wonders. Here are 3 Reasons Why You Should Be Thankful Every Day.
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5. Listen and Don’t Interrupt
In any relationship, disagreements will happen. The way you handle yourself in any discussion with opposing opinions is key. When you find yourself in this situation, try to take a step back and really listen to what the other person is saying. Listen with the intent to hear and understand what the other person is feeling, rather than just formulate your next opposing statement.
Disagreements can create heated conversations, but there is never any excuse to compromise your values. It is okay to disagree, but it is not okay to lose your temper and raise your voice. Yelling is a way to exhibit power over someone, which is not how to fix a relationship that is on the rocks. You can still show respect for someone while disagreeing with them by being patient, calm, and understanding.
4. Stop Invalidating their Emotions
Raise your hand if you had a parent that said stop crying or I will give you something to cry about. If you didn’t raise your hand, consider yourself lucky. This is just one way many of us have had our emotions invalidating since childhood. Going into adulthood, some of us still experience this.
As an adult, invalidating someone’s emotions sounds like “your life could be so much worse, you shouldn’t be sad,” or “why are you acting that way, you have it so much better than I did.” When someone is expressing their emotions to you, they are already in an incredibly vulnerable state. The worst thing you could do is make them wish like they never said anything at all. Try to be understanding and see things from their perspective, instead of putting your own perception of their situation.
3. Don’t Make Everything About You
How does a typical conversation with you go? If someone tells you about an amazing time they had hiking, is your first response to ask more about the hike or to start telling them about a time you went hiking? A lot of the time people don’t notice that they use conversations to talk more about themselves, rather than show an active interest in the other person’s life. What’s worse is the same people do this in arguments.
If someone is telling you about how they feel, don’t turn around and tell them how you feel. Instead, listen to what they’re saying and have a two-way conversation.
2. Stop Playing the Blame Game
If you are serious about wanting to find out how to fix a relationship, take some notes because this is a big one. In relationships that lack communication, it is common for people to engage in blame-shifting. What this sounds like is “You did this,” or “I didn’t do that” or “I wouldn’t have done this if you didn’t do that.”
Placing blame is just a way people don’t accept responsibility for the part they played in the situation at hand. Blaming someone for something will never change what has already happened. Having conversations about how to do things differently next time, can help keep the situation from happening again.
If you don’t like the way something was done, or said, take a look at yourself. Think about what you could have done to make the situation better, instead of focusing on how the other person made it worse.
1. Respect Yourself
In any relationship, it is so so so important to respect yourself. When you don’t respect yourself, it is hard for other people to respect you. Before you can care for and love someone else, you must first be able to care for and love yourself. This means no negative self-talk, eating foods that are good for you, and loving the way you look.
Be thankful for where you are in life, and spend no time complaining about how you got there. As Ru Paul says “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” Realize the worth of your own time and energy, and others will too.
If you need help kickstarting your own self-respect, join our 5 day self care challenge by enrolling in our free eCourse below!
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